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2000-09, 327, Notes and Queries

Notes & Queries

Are you an avid reader?

(Reprinted in part from Mary Schmich’s column in the Chicago Tribune.)

If you score 30 points or more, congratulations you read too much!

1. Is reading the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? (10 points).

2. Is reading the first thing you do when you wake up? (10 points).

3. Would you read first thing in the morning and last thing at night if you weren’t busy taking care of your kids? (5 points).

4. Do you carry reading material with you at all times so that you can sneak in a page or two while waiting for the bus/train/carwash/stoplight? (10 points).

5. Do you leave room in your suitcase when you travel for books you accumulate on your trip? (15 points).

6. Do you get more excited by amazon.com than you do by an Internet porn site? (20 points).

7. Do you visit amazon.com more than once a day? (15 points).

8. Did you choose your home in part based on the number of built-in bookshelves? (8 points).

9. Do you open conversations by saying, “What are you reading these days?” (9 points).

10. When someone answers, “Not much,” do you start praying for this person‟s soul? (20 points).

11. Did you breast-feed your baby because holding a book was easier while breast-feeding than while bottle-feeding? (25 points).

12. When visiting friends, do you prefer snooping among their books to snooping in their medicine cabinet? (15 points).

13. Do you love airport layovers and delayed flight because they give you time to read? (30 points).

14. Have you ever fished reading material out of a garbage can? (25 points).

15. Do you prefer reading to talking during meals? (30 points).

16. Do you spend as much money on reading materials as you do on food? (20 points).

17. When you enter a bookstore, do you hear voices calling, “Come over here and buy me! We were meant for each other!”? Do you buy books you’ve never heard of because you hear these voices? (35 points)

Ben Haneman who submitted this item says he had to answer “yes” to all the questions except the one on breast feeding!

Epitaph for collectors from an unknown writer found pen-cilled in a book owned by John Gloag circa 1800.

The body of …………………….

Collector

Like the cover of an old book

Its contents torn out

and

Strp’t of its lettering and Gilding

Lies Here

Food for the Worms

But the work shall not be lost

For it will appear once more

In a new and Elegant Edition

Revised and Corrected

By the AUTHOR. 

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